Process Writing

I was never given the freedom to be so personal in my writing before this class. I felt drawn to writing about experiences with my family, the complex relationships with my mom and sister, because it’s all a huge part of who I am and who I will undoubtedly be in the future. Walking into the memoir assignment, I thought that writing about my memories would come easily because, well, they’re just memories and nobody can tell me that how I feel or how I respond to certain relationships is wrong. It wasn’t that easy though, and like Marin told me once, I will probably write about these relationships for years to come. Turns out that writing about the people I know so well and love so much isn't so easy. And what scares me is that, maybe I don't have these people figured out. Maybe I have this idea in my head that I should have a handle on them because I've been close with them for twenty years.

In this class, I became aware of that tendency to always be in control when it comes to my emotions and my relationships. I think that's why I was so drawn to the theme of family--I felt in control, and really confident, when creating those characters on the page. But more than anything, it was incredibly fun to write about my bully sister and my needy mom. I always knew that family was the most important part of my identity, but I didn't anticipate that they would be my favorite subject to write about...because I never had the opportunity to write about them so freely.

I found that controlling tendency to be true in my writing as well. I enjoyed receiving feedback on all of these pieces, but at the same time, it made me extremely vulnerable. It was difficult, and maybe even strange, to receive feedback/criticism about characters in my life from people who don’t know the complexities of my experiences with them. But I quickly realized that it’s my responsibility as a writer to recreate those memories and experiences so that my reader can understand all of those complexities.